Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
