Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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