i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
