Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
