i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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