I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
