I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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