you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
