woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
