I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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