if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
If I die, sorry about rent.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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