she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
