My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
