Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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