Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
