I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
And my parents said I crawled through the house
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
