Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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