I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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