note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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