your parents love me but you hate me
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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