THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
