It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
