Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
