Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
