Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Say something about gay babies.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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