Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
It's Friday. Sex?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
