just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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