I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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