i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
