i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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