you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
