I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
