so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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