Dual....:-)
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
