so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
