Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
