My brain says no but my pants say off.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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