it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
