I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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