She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
