I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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