hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I would fuck him just for his dog
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