Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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