thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Girls should come with a carfax report
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
