i think my tv is drunk
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
