I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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