420 ftw
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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