So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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