Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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