You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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