how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
This is my gift to your gina
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
