I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
