is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
