how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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