i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
