went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
