Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
