I am spending my child support on dildos
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
