So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
